The Pursuit Of Shalom

They say your teenage to mid twenties are your make it or break it for being a fulling committed follower. I never understood, until now. Things change between Jobs, School, Family, Finances, and “Identity”. It’s the point where we are trying to find are forever self. Our “true identity. Who will we identify ourselves with or what. What major or college . Who or what you know. Preparing not only for the future but for the identity we want to put on or become. Going from kid to adult. Leaning towards the kind of adult you never had as a kid or always needed, or to become what you desire adult “should be”. Walking towards Christ or the world. Or a lukewarm mixture of both. Its in these years of our life we are ultimately defined. Being faced with the temptations. Desires from ourselves and fulfilling others. Most that walk away will more than likely walk back when in mid thirty’s with wife and family to maintain a stable balance of “faith family & friends”. But I don’t want to do so on such important years, I don’t know about you but Christ is a daily pursuit in which I want to ultimately be wrapped up all the more in my teenage and mid twenty years, because wow what a fearless and willing young devoted follower of Christ seeking his kingdom rather than the worlds fulfillment or status.

Recently I’ve just hit a pause button on my faith. Is it something I’m doing because of what the church and my family has ultimately processed me through. Or is it something I’m personally committed to. Is reading a chore. Or a moment of reflection towards Christ. Am I worshipping because I know it’s true or because I deeply love my God and what he placed his son on earth to do? Is it because I’m routine or because my passion has lacked and my spirit is grown weak. I don’t think it’s a one person fits all.

But I believe it’s being consistent. It’s definitely putting faith over feelings. It’s choosing despite the people. Things. Around you to Choose Jesus. I mean hey ,he chose you. There are more than some days where I want to be like “Jesus I don’t wanna read” I don’t even wanna talk with you right now. Like thanks for what you’re doing in my life but like bye. Because my feelings are being magnified more than my faith. Even when my faith is weak I still have too keep trusting it’s hard and sometimes I just have to sit at the feet of Jesus and let him know what I’m feeling not knowing why. It’s about pursuing him! If I had all the answers and all the perfect feelings I would never need a God because I would think I was one myself.

Proverbs talks about Life in a very knowledgeable way. It says…

“Hear, O sons, a father’s instruction, and be attentive, that you may gain insight, for I give you good precepts; do not forsake my teaching. When I was a son with my father, tender, the only one in the sight of my mother, he taught me and said to me, “Let your heart hold fast my words; keep my commandments, and live. Get wisdom; get insight; do not forget, and do not turn away from the words of my mouth. Do not forsake her, and she will keep you; love her, and she will guard you. The beginning of wisdom is this: Get wisdom, and whatever you get, get insight. Prize her highly, and she will exalt you; she will honor you if you embrace her. She will place on your head a graceful garland; she will bestow on you a beautiful crown.” Hear, my son, and accept my words, that the years of your life may be many. I have taught you the way of wisdom; I have led you in the paths of uprightness. When you walk, your step will not be hampered, and if you run, you will not stumble. Keep hold of instruction; do not let go; guard her, for she is your life. Do not enter the path of the wicked, and do not walk in the way of the evil. Avoid it; do not go on it; turn away from it and pass on. For they cannot sleep unless they have done wrong; they are robbed of sleep unless they have made someone stumble. For they eat the bread of wickedness and drink the wine of violence. But the path of the righteous is like the light of dawn, which shines brighter and brighter until full day. The way of the wicked is like deep darkness; they do not know over what they stumble.”
‭‭Proverbs‬ ‭4:1-19‬ ‭

I think of how growing up parents are annoying. Friends come and go. The identity is changing but the main and constant thing is Christ and the profound wisdom in his word. Time continues. Gray hair grows. The trees grow bigger yet the word of the lord remains the same what better life long and eternal thing to remain in.

“The grass withers, the flower fades, but the word of our God will stand forever.”
‭‭Isaiah‬ ‭40:8‬ ‭

The feeling of defeat always lagged behind the need for perfection. Chasing perfection wasn’t always about being perfect but making sure everyone thought I was. Perfection, Idealistic. No one can achieve perfection. Perfection not something to look up to or set dreams upon, Perfection. The standards of perfection or being perfect can make man crumble, the expectation of someone or the goal of it (perfection) isn’t real. One thing always made me humble in my walk with Christ, how can someone (Jesus) can be so perfect, put perfection in place yet love the most imperfect people so incapable of being perfect or achieving perfection. The idea of perfection is ultimately the way a person displays his/hers outer appearance, to bring about the idea of themselves as perfect. Knowing inner self is far less perfect and incapable of achieving perfection. Most defiantly have I tried to achieve perfection or make my life or appearance seem perfect, and every single time I failed. Between my faith, the gym, and all things I try or do, perfection is something I struggle not to expect, Walking up to a barbel (weights) and I expect to be perfect at anything that requires it, I sit down to read my bible and I expect to understand everything. Someone goes to get on a bike never before have they gotten on one. Do you expect them to achieve perfection in riding that bike? Or do you think they’ll fall a couple times but you still hope they get back up and try again even though perfection wasn’t there, trying doesn’t lead to perfection doing it a thousand times isn’t perfection, there’s good, great, and most certainly improvement. Perfection isn’t chase- able. Christ is, he was not only willing to leave ultimate perfection (heaven) but become complete and total imperfection. So that you can chase after him, pursue him, love him, and not be chasing perfection in something other than him. Which brings me to two women who had different things that caught the eye of Jesus and the words of what’s important, For the heart, the mind, and what you pursue.

“ Now as they went on their way, Jesus entered a village. And a woman named Martha welcomed him into her house. And she had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord’s feet and listened to his teaching. But Martha was distracted with much serving. And she went up to him and said, “Lord, do you not care that my sister has left me to serve alone? Tell her then to help me.” But the Lord answered her, “Martha, Martha, you are anxious and troubled about many things, but one thing is necessary. Mary has chosen the good portion, which will not be taken away from her.”
Luke 10:38-42

We may think how could Martha be busy with things when Christ was in her home, but we are slow to realize how we get busy with things when Christ is in our heart, in church, in finances and we still occupy ourselves with chasing perfection, money, new house, and degrees. Martha looks over and realizes that Mary is occupied with all thing Jesus, rest, and Sitting in awe instead of ugh. When you get into building something you take a step back and just look, sometimes to fix something, get a second opinion or to check your progress. When Martha finally took a step back she realize but not in a relived way but in a jealous way, it wasn’t till Jesus put his opinion in she (Martha) realized where she went wrong. Martha chased getting things done, Mary chased things of Jesus. Mary didn’t chase a title, or appearance, simply Jesus. We get caught up in the appearance instead of his appeal, Jesus isn’t in love with us or pursue’s us because of what we are, not because of who we are, But because of who he his.


Lottom: “Chasing things of perfection or trying our best to be perfect will leave our heart, mind, and faith all in pursuit of emptiness and idealistic state of being/mind, pursue things of Christ and through his perfection to fulfill imperfection. We often think perfection leaves the heart content while being perfect chases after God’s but its when we are real, honest, and totally imperfect that captures him.”

Your tree might have been burned a bit for another to be planted. Sometimes we have to cut off the unhealthy in order for the healthy parts to grow. Though your spirit has been dampened in this season you just may be strengthening another in their dry season.

There have been many soul gripping moments when I go through a trial. My actions. My feelings. My friends. My self. And ultimately my faith. Have been through the lost. Unknown. Scared. Afraid. Knowing that it was for a season. Yet not knowing how long this digging up soil will be before the joyous harvest. How many things are going to be bloomed or planted. Or yet how many things have I burned down. Joseph remained faithful.

And if I’m honest I don’t think I could have. I get mad when someone doesn’t quote me word for word, much less create lies and cost me my whole life. After all ready being forgotten by my family, sold by my own brothers. I would question. I would doubt. I wouldn’t think my highest of highs could even take away the pain of this my lowest low. Rejection at its finest. But yet he remained faithful. Then he gets to be with the king his right-hand man and everything is going good. Great actually. And yet because he was loyal and faithful. It cost him. His job. His title. We walk through life, and we go through hard ships, but we tend to either be shaped or let it ultimately shape us. Joseph’s life wasn’t cake and ice cream. It wasn’t one day wake up in the courts of the king. He went through trials to incorporate his testimony. If we all had it are way we’d probably live a life free of trials and pain and sorrows. Yet it’s those very things that draws people to the refiner. Because the fire is promised just as must as a refiner. You can’t live a life without the fire because you’ll more than likely never Experience the refiner. It’s humbling. It’s needed in faith. It’s needed more than likely not just in your life but one day in someone else’s. That’s why there are those who are already out of the fire it’s their testimony of how they walked out. The same way Joseph walked out of that cell because his calling was the very thing that got him in that pit is the same exact thing that’s going to get him back into his victory.

Joseph didn’t despise his droughts but rejoiced all the more in them. Doing the absolute most & going the extra mile in every circumstance he was in. Though it seemed others stayed the same and he fluctuated between titles and social standards. He didn’t fix his eyes on the past and how the fire refined him. He let it be the blessing in which he blessed his family in the future he didn’t let the fire refine his life but the refiner. Every season. In the highest or to the prison cell he remained steadfast and gained the trust of those around him. Because his character went beyond the claims of the enemy.

It’s not all Notebook Material But it is all prayer request answered!

Growing up I always thought it would be this mystical guy from some place I’d never heard of but dreamed I could one day visit. Funny I know. Realistic not really.

Through my early teenage years I pursued Christ, hard. Day in & day out. I knew I didn’t have time or a want for a guy in my life till my One on One with Christ was more than fully established into my daily life.

“My son, do not forget my teaching, but let your heart keep my commandments, for length of days and years of life and peace they will add to you. Let not steadfast love and faithfulness forsake you; bind them around your neck; write them on the tablet of your heart. So you will find favor and good success in the sight of God and man. Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths. Be not wise in your own eyes; fear the Lord, and turn away from evil. It will be healing to your flesh and refreshment to your bones. Honor the Lord with your wealth and with the firstfruits of all your produce; then your barns will be filled with plenty, and your vats will be bursting with wine. My son, do not despise the Lord’s discipline or be weary of his reproof, for the Lord reproves him whom he loves, as a father the son in whom he delights.”
‭‭Proverbs‬ ‭3:1-12‬ ‭

Pursue Christ. All will fall into line. Not by your will. Or your way but most certainly by his❕

1). Don’t pursue a Guy until you’ve pursued Christ.

Girls get their heart broken for this very reason! You can’t find in a guy what you’re missing from God! It’s a fact.

When Christ isn’t the foundation. All else will sink. Fail. Go under. Having Christ doesn’t mean it’s going to be easy, it means you have a strong backbone to lean back on and look up too.

2). Don’t put yourself on a timeline.

It’s what every Female thinks! We have a personal timeline of our love life. By 22 engaged. 25 first kid. Second kid by 30. NO! Every person has its own timeline! So what if you get married at thirty? Your maturity. You’re financially ready. Don’t base your age on your love life. Yes it’s great to have goals but that’s not a goal that’s forcing something that’s in Gods hands into your control…. not the best decision.

3). Don’t compare your relationship with others.

Don’t base your future relationship with girl next to you! Yes advice is great. But don’t let comparison be the drive in a relationship, go at your own pace.

4). Don’t base a Guy by his looks but by his character!

Soooo guiltily. When a friend asked me about her interest in a guy, I said no he’s not “manly enough” and his voice is too girly… little did I know I was discouraging her from her future husband. Based on his outward appearance. My approach was about his willingness to be a man. Which wasn’t my place. But his character exceeded. It was what SHE wanted. I was basing it off of what I thought she needed or what I myself wanted.

5). Don’t neglect your family.

Also, guilty. I felt the need to cancel family plans in order to fulfill what my bf wanted to do. Which hurt feelings and created controversy, I decided if I made plan with a sister I followed that through. If it was a girls night I followed through. To be healthy together we also have to be healthy apart. If I made plans with Brennon I followed through. (Unless it was an actual emergency) but I made plans let each person know in advance so no confusion or feelings were hurt. I’m also the last child so at this point I’m always going to get teased about leaving someone or doing something, lol.

6). Run after God.

I read a quote once. “Run after God wholeheartedly, and the right guy will keep up.” I was like dang. I wasn’t sure if it hurt my feelings or fueled me. A little of both.

Just to the girl. Women. Friend. Not yet DTR. Pursue Christ all will fall into line. Not by your way but by God’s will. It’s not about rushing. Or having a changed last name. A cute couple pic. Or a ring. It’s about being the woman Christ created you to be to find a man that will lead you all the more towards Christ not away from him. To be kingdom builders together. Pursue Christ one on one. Pray for a mate that does the same. In due time. You’ll both be ready for each other.

First week of the gym, on complete fire like “let’s get it” loosing weight seeing progress. Second week of gym “I lost an inch😕” (loosing interest), Third week like “nah I’m gonna skip a day. And weirdly it’s like that with our relationship with Christ! We are so quick to be on fire when things are happening because we see the results, yet when they begin to “fade” and we personally can’t see them we begin to back off.

If I workout and workout yet I’m not feeding my body what it needs to properly grow the muscles or to get better at increasing my weight then I’m doing it all for nothing! BCAAS, protein, proper rest days, rolling the aches out, eating the right things, and fueling my body.

If you are going to go to church every Sunday. If you are going to be a follower of Christ then you need to do what’s going to fuel you, be of health Spiritually! To motivate you spiritually and your ministry.
Reading your bible.
Fellowship with Christ Followers in order to sharpen each other’s iron. Godly knowledge isn’t just beneficial on earth but for eternity.

“Doing it” isn’t enough, but what you are applying with it! You can “do it” with a sour attitude and hardened heart. You can workout and go eat a whole pizza. But is it really changing you? Are you going to see results? ..probably not. Apply whole heartily passionately, continually,and constantly to see results, to develop a relationship it takes time!

“If you put these things before the brothers, you will be a good servant of Christ Jesus, being trained in the words of the faith and of the good doctrine that you have followed. Have nothing to do with irreverent, silly myths. Rather train yourself for godliness; for while bodily training is of some value, godliness is of value in every way, as it holds promise for the present life and also for the life to come.”
‭‭1 Timothy‬ ‭4:6-8‬ ‭

Proper growth consist of daily discipline of constant up rooting your comfort and ability to trust your own ways.

“from whom the whole body, joined and held together by every joint with which it is equipped, when each part is working properly, makes the body grow so that it builds itself up in love.”
‭‭Ephesians‬ ‭4:16‬ ‭

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